So, you’ve met this girl. She’s cute, she’s funny and you enjoy her company in more ways than just the obvious one. And this seems like a great big problem. On the one hand, you want to keep seeing her. It’s so much fun; of course you’d rather not stop. But on the other hand, you’re really not ready to settle down. Perhaps you never will be. But you know that regular dates lead to relationships, and relationships lead to rings on fingers and buns in ovens, and that’s a risk you don’t want to take. But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if you could keep things relaxed, casual and nothing but fun for months, or even for years? Follow my lead and you can! Start by dodging the “am I your girlfriend?” discussion indefinitely.
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If you sense a wistful moment coming on, quickly tell her how happy you are having nothing and nobody tying you down. Take every opportunity you can to remind her of what a relief it is to be living a free and easy lifestyle, and flatter her by telling her you feel lucky to be hanging out with a girl so undemanding. Keep your meetings casual and enjoyable. Choose fun, funky restaurants over the secluded, seductive ones, and stick to light-hearted topics of conversation – sharing hopes and fears will only encourage you to rely upon each other, and that can lead to involvement. Be slightly unavailable to her. Don’t get drawn into aimless text message chatter or meandering phone calls.
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Let her believe you’re too busy to talk much, and phone her only to arrange your next encounter or to confirm the following day’s date – never because you’re feeling a little bit bored! Avoid getting yourself into situations which could be seen as couple. And I’m not just talking about romantic dinners and lengthy smooching sessions here – I’m talking meeting the friends and family. Tell her you don’t want to cramp her birthday style (a subtle reminder that you’re both still single), or that lovers meeting mothers could be seen as inappropriate. You don’t want to meet her friends for one very simple reason: whether they like you or loathe you, your days of casual bookie will soon be numbered.
They’ll convince her to move on and find someone steady, or they’ll start teasing her about surprise marriage proposals – and, once that idea’s in her head, believe you me, it won’t be easy to shift. Letting her meet your mates isn’t much better. Suppose they get along? She could start popping up unexpectedly on your lads’ nights out, or they could become disapproving of what they see as you treating her wrong. Which you’re not. If you’re honest and upfront with her there’s no need to feel guilty about keeping things casual. For loads of girls, the free and easy lifestyle suits them better – and even for those who do aim to settle down, having fun while they wait for someone steady is preferable to sitting home alone. So don’t delete her number from your phone – give her a call, set up a date, have yourselves some fun.